Hey “unassuming guru” seeking tribe members …. What’s your story? Have you ever given that any real thought? Francine is entertaining that question right now (see below).
Aloha Mr White
I have been giving a lot of thought to my internal narrative about your life. I’ve taken a seminar in Hawaii on this, and would love your input. Any ideas?
Thank you so much for your blogs. They help me to see myself differently that what my story gives me.
Blessings to you Mr White, Francine
It is great that you are giving some attention to your life-story, to your narrative of how your life has unfolded? That story is exclusively your story, and the meaning you’ve given every chapter of that story supports who you assume yourself to be today, Francine. I love that you’re giving that some thought.
You’ve memorized the important parts of that story, and from those memories arise your “memorized self.” Those many emotional reactions and habitual behavioral patterns that make up your involuntary programming are the “memorized self” in action.
If you were to take the time to notice how much you are sleep-walking through your life pretending you are fully awake, you would be shocked, Francine. Times, for example, when you react to what’s happening right now from a scene from your past. Your habitual reaction is so quick that you don’t notice that it was from an old memory of something that happened similar in your past. In fact, if asked why you acted as you did, you’d have what you considered a perfectly valid reason, and that reason would have nothing to do with your past. The truth be told – in such moments you are plugged into your story. You are not plugged into the reality of the moment.
To the degree that your story contains a collection of negative opinions about yourself, your story contaminates your current life-experiences. That’s because you are stuck with subconscious memories of old traumas that are always ready to explode into your current field of consciousness when triggered to do so.
I worked with teenagers, years ago; kids who’d had run-ins with the law. My main question when working with these kids was always the same: “What are the crimes being committed in your mind that are motivating you to commit crimes in the streets?” I found the best way to get to this information was to ask them tell me their life-story.
One reason the teen years are a period of struggle is because kids are searching to find themselves, are seeking to find their identities. And for many, unfortunately, their life-story to that point is filled with memories of past failures and subsequent disappointments.
There is one thing that became apparent to me with these kids, and that was how clear they were about their experiences of failure. Their failures outnumbered their successes ten to one, and because of that, their future looked bleak to them.
It also became apparent to me that these kids did not know that they could reinterpret their personal life-story so it empowered rather than disempowered them. Yes, you can do that; same details in the story but different interpretations.
It’s because of their negative interpretations of their individual stories that they unconsciously act out of fear and anger. And unfortunately many of these kids are committed to paying the world back for what they assume the world had done to them. After working with these kids for a couple of years, I discovered two capital crimes that they commit in their minds:
- I AM inadequate.
- I AM unworthy.
I helped the kids understand that these two interpretations were absolutely inaccurate, and there was no circumstance in their lives that was nearly as disempowering as are those two gross miss-understandings.
Perhaps the real story of the fall of man began when man chose to forsake his natural urge to express himself fully for the ritual of negatively reacting. What are symptoms of those two capital crimes committed in the mind?
OK, let’s take a moment to look directly at you. On a scale of zero to ten—zero meaning “never,” and ten meaning “always”—how do you rate yourself with these symptoms? Be honest with yourself.
- quick to assume the worst when things are going wrong
- quick to feel guilty when you make a mistake
- quick to turn a molehill into a mountain
- quick to quit after trying before even trying
- quick to feel dissatisfied when you’ve tried only once
- quick to remember the last time you did something stupid
A total score of twenty-five or more is a telltale sign that you’re committing those capital crimes in your mind. Nothing creates a division between you and your glorious visions like those two crimes. Crime doesn’t pay!
I ask all of you now, “Have you examined your story lately?” It’s great that you have a life story, for certainly it gives you your identity, however, there’s also such a thing as “wrong seriousness.” That’s when your heart is made fearful because you are far too serious about old failures that are part of your story.
What’s great about being human is that you can do something about that. You can acquire the ability to be more curious when remembering past failures that have you wrongly serious. You can ask yourself, “How can I see this past experience differently, in a way that it serves me?”
Getting in touch with what’s been running your life gives you the opportunity to clean it up. These blogs help you learn how to convert the internal pressure that comes with “wrong seriousness” into a force for true self-discovery. It’s a delightful revelation to discover that you have such options.
When I was working with the teenage kids, I got a lot of pleasure watching them recognize their wrong seriousness by asking themselves, “How can I see this experience differently?” This is always a powerful step toward coming to right conclusions about oneself. My intention was to help them take responsibility for their crimes of the mind so they could do something about it. I loved the adventure, as did the kids.
I hope this gives you some clarity, Francine.
Blessings to you Francine, and to all of the rest of you, Rob