I had a friend explain to me that her boss and she just couldn’t get along. No matter what she did to try and please him, he would find something wrong.
I asked her what the conversations were that she had with him IN HER HEAD. Not her actual conversations, but the ones she had in her imagination while commuting to work in the morning or commuting back home at night. She said that she was always thinking about what he’d said that upset her and how she’d defensively responded. I asked that she try something different. Just imagine that he tells you how much he appreciates your work, and you thank him kindly and sincerely. Do this every morning on the way to work and on the way back for a week. See what happens.
YUP, it worked. Within a couple of weeks, her boss came into her office one day and told her how much he appreciated the work she was doing. She responded gleefully and sincerely. Their relationship has improved tenfold since then.
Is that possible? Could it be? Can we actually affect the outcome of a relationship if we see it differently in our mind? Hmmm