Hi Rob … My problem is that I don’t feel successful, no matter what I do. I seem to reprimand myself continually, even if I achieve what I set out to accomplish. I’ll beat myself up over almost everything that happens in my life. How do I stop doing this?
Hi Tim … Your achievements cannot give you the wisdom they offer so long as your self-talk is caught up in the habit of self-condemnation. That’s a habit, and a bad one at that.
The first thing to do is to become conscious of how you talk to yourself incessantly about your failures or your poor quality of action when you do manage to succeed. Beware the yap-trap, Tim. Pay attention to your bellyaching self-talk. And the only way you can separate gainful introspection from painful self-condemnation is to take “you” out of the conversation.
Look at what you’ve achieved, like it’s not about you but about someone else. Once you remove “you” from the situation, you will be able to look from a more even-keeled point of view. Truth will shine through only when you stop valuing putting yourself down more than learning the lessons offered that could lift you up.
You’ll come to know who you really are, with all of your hidden talents and strengths when you stop thinking about who you are with all of your imagined flaws. Knowing is the absence of ignorance. It is an act of ignorance to scold yourself constantly; it only reinforces those traits of character that you are scolding.
You’ll learn to love the light when you lighten up on yourself, Tim. And in the light, will shine through many positive virtues you’ve not noticed. That’s because you’ve been living in the dark.