What is our greatest fear? It all comes back to the fear of rejection. We continue an empowering conversation that will help you see the true source of your own feelings of rejection. You can listen to Part 2 of the WROAR Radio broadcast of “No One Can Reject You … Except You” with co-hosts JK and Deeone and our special guest Lisa.
Fear of rejection is our greatest fear. Fear of rejection began with the 60,000 NO’s that we heard from age two to five. Each of those NO’s was felt as a rejection to our innocent, naive minds. Even if it was a loving NO, “No honey, don’t touch that – you’ll cut yourself!” … it felt like you’d been rejected.
The fear of rejection is a primitive fear that began when people were living in small, survival communities and dwelling in caves. You couldn’t afford to be rejected and cast out from the community or you’d be surely eaten by a saber-tooth tiger. It was valid to fear rejection back then!
Times have changed. There are no saber-tooth tigers lurking in bushes anymore. It’s time to stop falling back and start springing forward.
Congratulations! You are now taking a fabulous positive step toward learning what stops you from fulfilling on your dreams. You are looking at the primal force that dampens your confidence and destroys your personal initiative – your fear of rejection.
Fear of criticism.
Fear of failure.
Fear of success.
Fear of public speaking.
Fear of trying out for the cheerleader squad or football team …
All of these fears, and infinitely more, are initiated by the fear of rejection.
Fear of rejection tears down your natural self-confidence. Nothing could stop the confident child that you experienced yourself being … and then came the Terrible Two’s. When the Terrible Two’s came, you were hit with an onslaught of NO’s and your confidence waned. This is why the Two’s are so Terrible!
By age five, you lost your natural sense of self-confidence and went from, “WOW is me, I am confident and free” to “WOE is me, what can I do to be accepted and liked, so I may avoid any further rejection?”
HERE IS THE BIGGEST PIECE OF THIS PSYCHOLOGICAL PUZZLE. Understand this, and you are on your way to resolving your fear of rejection: The pain of rejection comes not from being rejected by others … it comes from rejecting yourself!
The pain of rejection comes not from being rejected by others
… It comes from rejecting yourself.
Now you have the missing piece of the puzzle. When others reject you and you don’t take it personally – it doesn’t hurt you. When others reject you and you do take it personally – you participate in the rejection and reject yourself (put yourself down). Therein lies the pain; therein lies the fear that you are not good enough.
Why do you think so many people (almost everyone) is so hell-bent on looking good and being right? It’s because they fear rejection.
President Obama is fighting for his political life – and what is his biggest strategy? He is working with all of his might to look good and be right about his political philosophy. And he is also trying to make Romney look bad and be wrong about his political philosophy. And of course, Romney is doing the same thing.
Wow, if the most powerful men in the world are caught up in the fear of rejection – you can see how contagious this fear is. You can see how it strikes everyone in some domain of his or her life.
If you think that you can rid yourself of all rejection – you’re not being practical or realistic.
If you think you can rid yourself of the pain of rejection, and therefore rid yourself of your fear of rejection – Yes, Yes, Yes, you can!
A prime purpose of my blogs, a prime purpose of my Thursday eve blog talk-show radio broadcast, a prime purpose of my books, a prime purpose of most self-help blogs and self-help books are to help you rid yourself of the pain of rejection so you may rid yourself of the fear of rejection.
I know what the fear of rejection feels like. When I quit teaching, after 17 years, to get rich in real estate (which seemed like an insane dream to my family, friends, work colleagues, and even casual acquaintances), I was rejected on many fronts. Wow, it stung!
SHOW THE WAY TO OTHERS, ROB, AND YOU’LL DISCOVER THE WAY YOURSELF. I have been showing others how to rid themselves of the fear of rejection for many years. I have discovered new ways along the journey. I shall continue to show you many ways, so I may discover many more ways. Thank you, all of you, for participating with me on this incredible journey.
A TEACHERS MOST IMPORTANT STUDENT IS HIMSELF. Will you offer a comment to teach others how you’ve overcome the fear of rejection. Remember – you are your most important student. You learn what you teach.
Thank you and blessings
“Best Comment of the Week.” This weeks best comments come from Hiten Vyas of Empowering You to Be Your Best and Salty Sailor Man. Thank you for your heartfelt sharing. See their comments here. Illustrations by nick
On a side note: If you are in Boston, you cannot afford to miss our next Mind Adventure Meetup. Space is very limited. More info here.