I want to introduce you to an important reality – it’s a reality of accountability. This is the only reality that gives you title to your life; If you are living in any other reality, you find that you are handing title to your life over to the circumstances or people in the world that you claim cause your life to unfold as it does.
Now, I want to introduce you to a psychological fact. This fact explains the mechanics of how YOU create your daily experiences; yes YOU! Here is the fact: The attitude that motivates your responses to life is reinforced by your responses to life. What does this mean? I means that you look out at life with an attitude; you respond to life from that attitude; life reflects the attitude back to you; you say, “See, I told you my attitude was correct!”
When you are feeling confidence and have an attitude of competence, you are motivated to go into your day in a very different way than if you are feeling doubtful and your attitude is fearful.
With an attitude of competence, you respond to life in decisive ways; you set lofty aspirations, take more chances, re-take your miss-takes when you fail at something, and you eagerly learn from your failures so you can improve your skills of success. You are living in a reality of accountability – you hold yourself accountable for your actions. This reality gives you a feeling of self-worth and self-trust, which reinforces your attitude of competence.
Now, with a reinforced attitude of competence, you relate to others in a way that have them quickly accept and like you. You see life as a treat, and you love your relationships with others. What a wonderful world!
What happens if the feeling of doubt and an attitude of incompetence motivates you? You respond very differently than when feeling confident, don’t you. You hope to get by and avoid as much failure as you can; you shrink from life; when you make a miss-take you come up with a 1,000 excuses; you become a NO-it-all – saying “NO” to any insights or life lessons that may help you see things differently. You are living in a reality where you see yourself at ‘The Effect’ of life. This reality makes you feel insecure; it reinforces your attitude of incompetence.
Now, with a reinforced attitude of incompetence, you relate to others in an insecure way, which guarantees that others will reject and avoid you. You see life as a threat, and you find your relationships are fraught with problems. What a miserable world!
Many folks believe that the circumstances of life and other people in the world are the cause of their attitude. This believer takes no ownership of his life; this is the ultimate ‘helpless victim’ position.
There is a powerful lesson in this blog. Ponder it. Reflect on it, with your own personal history in mind. Don’t let your habitual thinking come up with your usual responses. What can you learn from it?
Tip #1: It is a self-liberating insight to notice that you cannot respond to life beyond what your attitude allows.
Tip #2: If you feel that life is hostile toward you, it is time to take back title to your life – it is time to create a reality of accountability for yourself. Begin with holding yourself accountable for your attitude, and then go out into the world responding in ways that support that attitude.
TIP #3: When you observe how others are stumbling because of their attitude, do so for ending the stumbling in yourself. What attitude is that person teaching you NOT to have?
TIP #4: Justifying a poor attitude does not reduce by one ounce the weight the attitude places on you. A poor attitude immediately fades when you stop insisting that your mental trash is treasure.
• ‘Poor me’ is mental trash.
• ‘If it is to be, it is up to me’; that’s treasure!
I’d love to go deeper into this with you right now, but I’m writing a blog (not a book), so it is time to wrap up. Would you like to pursue this conversation further? Leave comments saying so, and we shall.